In case you haven’t noticed, people are social animals.
(As an aside, having just graduated college, the question of whether they’re more social or more animals is still up in the air haha).
As social animals, a part of us seems to yearn for connectivity; to share, to be acknowledged and to acknowledge others.
This, my friends, is blogging.
The Wrong Turn
Many bloggers view blogging as a means to an end, as a way to make more money, receive more praise, or achieve a goal they’ve set. To me, this rips the heart out of it. Of course blogging can be used for any of these three (I have to admit, I’ve never really been a huge fan of the word “use”) but when this becomes the primary purpose and motivating factor behind creation, then the creation itself becomes lackluster.
Friend Group 1 & Friend Group 2
Think about it. We have friends, and then we have friends. What’s the difference? The first group we use, not in a vindictive or evil sort of way, but they function as a means to an end for us. They connect us to the information, sporting tickets, job performance rating, or free concert that we desire.
The second group of friends? These are the ones that we call just to call, that we find ourselves asking “How are you” and then really listening for the answer. These are the ones that mean something and who challenge us to grow, experience life, and… are you ready for it? INTERACT.
Interaction is what makes a good blog. Heck, interaction is what makes a good life.
Which friend group is more fulfilling and drives you to invest more, be creative, and discover your passion? You know the answer.
Content IS NOT king
Contrary to popular belief, blogging isn’t a newspaper or encyclopedia and content IS NOT king anymore. At least not the content most people are describing when they use this phrase. What is king now?
Relationship.
If you want to build a sustainable blog, no matter the niche, you’ve got to build relationship. This throws people off because relationship, just like in the real world, takes time.
A Sprint or A Marathon
Viewing your blog as a sprint to reach some imaginary finish line causes you to burn out just like it would with a “real” relationship in the physical world.
Picturing your blog as a marathon where there is no finish line and you’re running simply because you love to run? Well, in that case, don’t be surprised if some other runners start running with you, if you make some friends along the way. (The movie Forrest Gump comes to mind).
How To Build Relationship
Be Personal and Be Personality:
We all have our own personality. Whatever yours may look like, let it shine through. Speak from a position of “I” and to the reader as “you” and “us.” If you’re in a service industry or niche, tell people why you’re providing them with the information you’re providing; because you care about them and want to see them succeed. Then, and here’s the clincher, actually care and help them succeed.
A Little Goes A Long Way:
With the fast pace of the world people aren’t used to others actually desiring to have a relationship with them. What does this look like on your blog? Slow things down, type the extra word, and respond to every commenter if possible. Relate an old comment a user made with a new one they just posted. Don’t get to know the comments, get to know the commenter. Notice someone’s work, and yes, they feel proud. Notice someone as a person, now that’s relationship.
“Thank You” Are Your New Favorite Words!
Plain and simple, people want to be heard. When you take feedback and implement it, when you take a comment and turn it into a post, when you acknowledge a contribution, no matter how big or small, people feel heard. They feel important and they feel that their relationship to you matters, that it makes a difference in the grand scheme of things. Pick a reader and send a personal email of thanks once a day. Over time, it’ll change your community.
Pulling It All Together
In the end, there’s no magic pill. Blogging isn’t a different form of communication from what we experience in the real world, it’s simply an extension. To create something you’re truly proud of, you must create a relationship that isn’t self serving.If you want to be successful, be patient and invest in others. You don’t have to “use” your community to achieve your goals. Treat them right, and they’ll work with you. Content is only still king in as much as it leads to relationship.
So, leave me a comment, I’d like to know what you think. More importantly than that, I’d like to know who you are 
Brian December 21, 2011 at 8:09 pm
By the way I love Forrest Gump. Even though a fictitious character he has influence a great deal of people. Most of all when blogging you must be yourself. Quit trying to be someone else and you will attract people of the like mind and follow you for who you are. Thanx Chase.
Samantha October 20, 2011 at 5:09 am
When I first started blogging, I launched several “little” projects, and it was hard for me to follow comments… building relationships. I realized the lack of interest I had in keeping up with so many random blogs, and the self-necessity in building less sites, but that are closer to home. Meaning I actually have an extended interest in developing them over time as they’re more dear to my heart and lifestyle.
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Mark July 3, 2011 at 2:59 pm
I agree that content is NOT king in that pretty much everything that can be said has been said a million times over just in different ways. For this reason relationship building is VERY important.
However, I still feel that content IS king if, in a rare instance, a blogger or coder can come up with something that is entirely new and out of the box in terms of ideas.
But with respect to relationship building, I still think it is the most important part and the best way to build is to “over-deliver”.
Thanks for the unique perspective, Chase.
mark
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Dan January 28, 2011 at 10:04 am
Thank you chase! A really insightful post into world/universe of blogging. Trying to work out why I’m blogging myself. This has certainly given me some pointers.
Original idea, blogging = write a ton of posts, google gives me that special love time= Cash time.
Mentioning movies, you can really tell the difference between a cash cow and one made just for the love of making it.
Hopefully I can evolve into a different type of blogging animal. In any case the journey should be fun. Thanks for lighting up part of the path for me.
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Mike October 10, 2010 at 6:20 pm
Great article, and specialty how to build relationship part got me. Thanks for posting this.
Mike
Usama September 30, 2010 at 6:23 pm
If content is king then social media or relationship is queen. Also interacting with other bloggers,
Thanks.
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Jon August 20, 2010 at 8:29 am
But surely content helps build relationships, and good relationships lead to new content through communities? I still think that content is king. Without any substance all talk is just a lot of hot air!
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TJ McDowell August 13, 2010 at 11:35 am
Genius! I think you’re right that what people really want is to be noticed. I just read a book on how to win friends and influence people, and I think this is exactly the point that the book makes. People like to feel important and connecting with a person establishes a more lasting connection than does connecting with a topic.
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Chase Brumfield August 16, 2010 at 12:37 pm
“Connecting with a person established a more lating connection than does connecting with a topic.”
Extremely well said TJ. Thanks a lot for the comment. Care to share the title and author of the book you read?
Give. Get. Give.
Chase Brumfield
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TJ McDowell August 16, 2010 at 2:04 pm
Sure – the book is How To Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It’s been around for a while, but it’s a great read.
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Laura Paulson August 12, 2010 at 11:32 pm
Hi Chase,
I really enjoyed this post and that is so true. You hear “content is king”, “content is king” all the time but ultimately it really is about the relationships. I’m pretty new to blogging and I believe you start by providing valuable content and by doing that and engaging your readers, the relationships build over time so it is a process.
Good stuff! Thanks, Laura
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Chase Brumfield August 16, 2010 at 12:35 pm
Thanks for the comment Laura.
Keep your chin up with blogging, like I said, it’s a marathon not a sprint.
If your doing it through a focus on relationships however, you can guarantee that it will pay off eventually in one way or another. Perhaps not the way you envisioned… but it will. Patience is a virtue as they say.
Give. Get. Give.
Chase Brumfield
Chase Brumfield recently posted..Adam Sandler- Giving- And Some Video Game Addicted Israelis
Harshit Singhal from Blogging Tips August 12, 2010 at 8:35 pm
Its great to see that you actually take the time to read all the comments & reply to them on a one to one basis. Will keep on commenting on your posts.
Chase Brumfield August 16, 2010 at 12:33 pm
Thanks so much Harshit.
It would be horribly ironic if I wrote an article on relationships and then didn’t try to form some with people who took the time to comment haha.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts on future posts that I write and feel free to check out my blog as well by clicking on my name to see if it interests you. We’d love to have you commenting over there as well
Give. Get. Give.
Chase Brumfield
Chase Brumfield recently posted..Adam Sandler- Giving- And Some Video Game Addicted Israelis